GET TO KNOW ME

I used to think that owning my truth would bring me freedom.

That each time I chose to step into another part of my identities – queer, brown-skinned, eldest daughter of South Indian immigrants – I’d suddenly walk around the world and feel like ME.

So, when I finally followed my heart and married the love of my life - a trans man - I thought I had arrived.

…and when my ethnicity and queerness no longer felt at odds - I thought I had arrived.

…and on the day I decided to be publicly out and open about ALL of who I am - I thought I had arrived.

…and with every cycle I broke in a family lineage of intergenerational trauma - I thought I had arrived.

Don’t get me wrong; every one of these moments was huge.

But they didn’t change how I showed up in everyday life.

As Out-and-Proud-Queer-Desi Meera, I still found myself shape-shifting and trying to find versions of me that other people would tolerate.

Holding some parts of myself back to avoid rejection, and over-extending others to be of service.

Constantly explaining myself to cis people, straight people, white people…exploiting myself to try and make others more “accepting.”

You see, like most of us in marginalized bodies, I had spent a lifetime echolocating :

Looking to cues outside myself for validation, acceptance, reassurance and permission.

Constantly reading other people, and adjusting myself to avoid conflict or discomfort.

Every minute of every day since I was five, that’s how I had survived the world.

And those reflexes didn’t just vanish now that I was Out-and-Proud-Queer-Desi-Meera.

Turns out that you can free yourself in big ways, but still feel un-free in all the little ones.

Then…I became a photographer. (huh? stay with me here.)

Not just any kind of photographer.

A documentary wedding photographer for people who didn’t fit the wedding industry mold.

My couples were queer, trans, interracial, interfaith, disabled, came from blended families and complicated histories.

And they all had one thing in common: they didn’t want norms or social pressure to dictate and define their wedding day - they wanted to stay true to themselves.

Of course, that's easier said than done.

When you plan a wedding, you bump right up against norm after norm.

An entire industry dedicated to force-feeding you ideas of how things are supposed to feel, look and be.

And that creates a pressure cooker…especially when none of that fits who you are.

So I created something called wedding planning advocacy.

I’d spend a year helping couples figure out how to translate who they were and what they valued…into wedding planning.

Sifting through conflicts, social pressure, confusion and stress until we found answers that felt right.

And then I’d photograph everything that unfolded when the wedding arrived.

As I facilitated and witnessed all of this, I started to change, too.

I saw how spectacular it was when my couples let their whole selves shine through - unapologetically, wildly and wonderfully.

I saw the magic in their freedom and the bravery in their choices.

This is when I finally understood:

When marginalized humans refuse to contort ourselves, we have a chance to experience our lives in precious, irreplaceable ways we’d never get to otherwise.​

…and I wanted all of us to show up this audaciously everywhere, not just on a single day.

So I made some changes.

Professionally - I put down my camera, and got properly trained as a Certified Wayfinder Coach.

I’ve continued to center my work on us: marginalized humans trying to show up whole in the face of institutions and individuals who’d prefer we keep it contained.

And personally - it meant applying my medicine to myself, one tiny step at a time.

So that now, the me that shows up in front of you…is just…well…ME.

Over the past 20+ years…in my life and in my work…

I’ve come to realize that each of us desperately craves some version of the same thing:

🌱 To walk away from every situation and feel at peace with ourselves.
🌱 To say what’s on our minds without running it through a hundred filters.
🌱 To exist unapologetically, without disguise or constraint.
🌱 To trust our inner voice and make decisions without self-doubt

To just BE. OURSELVES. and LIVE. EMBODIED. LIVES. despite a world that wants the opposite for us.

From my own experience, and all the precious humans who have trusted me with yours…

…I now know that freedom is a practice, and it’s one that we can learn.

So, there you have it.

I’m Meera.

I’m Queer, brown, loving, irreverent, principled, truthful…and so much more than any list of adjectives will ever contain.

I know what it is to be everywhere but with yourself, because I used to be there, too.

I also know what it looks like to change that, because I walk this walk every day.

And while I don’t know what it looks like for YOU to live or lead honestly and authentically…

…I do know how to guide you to those answers for yourself.

This is the work of my life.

I can’t wait to share it with you.

-Meera